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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Is a blow job sex?

Well, this will be my last post for an undetermined length of time. Hopefully, that means that I'll be apostin' tomorrow evening, but... Who nows? Switching phone service providers AND installing DSL with our do-in-yourself kit.... There's so many ways this could go wrong, it's not even funny. So, just in case, I'm leaving you with a bunch new posts (see below) and some questions.

Is a blow job sex? Is anal sex sex? How 'bout eating out? Fingering? Jacking? Rubbing? Or the various other methods two people use to get each other off?

These aren't rhetorical questions, nor am I asking them because I don't know what I think the answers are. Perhaps I will get around to explaining myself, but for now please bear with me and tell me what you think.

Oh, and don't e-mail me, because the e-mail that has been posted on this site will not function any longer.

12 Comments:

At 4/28/2006 8:33 AM, Blogger Horny Old Guy said...

I'd say they are ALL sex. From what I'm read, most young people would disagree (maybe with the exception of anal). Blow jobs are supposedly as common as good night kisses were to my generation in the 1950's (sigh!). Not regarded as sex either! The Republican wackos say it's all Clinton's fault since he didn't consider Monica's BJs as sex (nice try Bubba!). Somehow I don't think the kids are thinking of Clinton or Monica as those shorts and panties are coming off though! My ancient mind thinks all these things are sex...not that there is anything wrong with sex!

 
At 4/28/2006 7:04 PM, Blogger Lisa Renee said...

ewwww - I felt like it was welcome to Sex Chat with Stephanie (lol)

But my opinion, anal and vaginal penis to orifice contact is "sex" all of the other ones are not. They more categorized as manual stimulation or foreplay.

Cept for a blow job, technically that could be either sex or foreplay.

:-)

 
At 4/28/2006 8:43 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Okay, see here's the story. I have this very dear and precious friend, whom has a long history of abuse, a history that she's been working hard to overcome. For most of her adult life, and technically well before that, she would seek out relationships in which she's abused, neglected or used, because that's what she feels she deserves. Logically she knows better, but emotionally it's much more difficult to "realize" that truth.

Now, she's in a semi-relationship (they haven't made it official because of distance) with a guy who seems to genuinely care about her. I haven't met him, so I'm not ready for thumbs up or down, but he seems like he's genuinely interested in HER as a person.

However, at the same time she has an "addiction" to this other guy, who basically comes around (he lives far away too) just for sex. To put it into perspective, he doesn't want to actually have a relationship her, because at his age that would mean marriage. And well, she's not worth it to him.

Now, the difficulties, is that she claims "He's not that bad for me, because it's not like we have sex or anything." Sure they get each other off in all sorts of ways, fully unclothed, but as long as there's no vaginal penetration, it's not sex and so he's not using her.

Never mind the fact that he makes her feel miserable, and she knows he's controlling and manipulating her...they're not have sex, so he's not using her.

*sigh* So, I had to ask. I had to find out how pervasive this attitude was.

 
At 4/28/2006 8:52 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Seeing that, you can understand how someone of my, um, conservative nature, would be a bit, well...HUH?

 
At 4/28/2006 8:54 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Horny old guy,

LOL! Don't feel too bad. My mom wasn't even born in the fifties, and I still think that a blow job as a date thing is a little...hmm. And, it's not that I think sex is bad; it's sex with multiple partners that I think is, well, unsafe.

 
At 4/30/2006 2:41 AM, Blogger David Schantz said...

I would have said they are all sex, but then I thought maybe I should wait until I can ask my Grand Daughter, the 14 year old thats going to have a baby. Maybe things have changed since I was younger.BTW, she has had some problems recently. She started to go into labor twice late in the 6th month (7th as of yesterday). They stopped it both times. Now she is on semi bed rest until the baby is born. I've gotten over being upset for the most part. I'm lucky, not everyone gets to meet their Great Grand Children.

God Bless America, God Save The Republic

 
At 4/30/2006 3:00 AM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Unless you can ask your granddaughter without being as indignant about the issue as I was with my friend (think: IT IS TOO SEX!!!) than I don't recommend it. She needs as little stress as possible to keep her baby safe.

BTW, I'm going to e-mail you about that. If you don't think it'll help, feel free to delete it without reading it.

 
At 4/30/2006 9:56 AM, Blogger Praguetwin said...

Just to chime in late on this one...

I think Horny old guy is way off by thinking about excepting anal as sex.

Vaginal and Anal sex are like 1st degree sex. There is no question.

Oral sex is like 2nd degree sex and still, in my mind, very much sex. Yet I do know people who find this to be even worse than strait sex, because it is so initimate and personal.

Manual masturbation doesn't technically qualify as sex, but to me, it is pretty much the same. If you are getting each other off, together and sharing fluids, you are having sex in my book.

It is a fuzzy line because just a touch is not sex. I've been groped by plenty of women but I don't think of it as sex. Where do you draw the line? A single drunken hand job is hardly what I would call sex, but some long drawn out naked ritual would be sex in my book.

So to to me that is where I break with the standard defenitions. A kiss and a feel is still not sex to me. But clothes off mutual masturbation would be.

And the line is somewhere inbetween those two that I can't quite put my finger on, so to speak.

 
At 4/30/2006 12:24 PM, Blogger reverse_vampyr said...

I wouldn't say it's just Clinton's fault that oral sex is now considered to no longer be sex. It's his fault, partially, of course. But the larger fault would be the legions of Democrats/Liberals who leapt to Clinton's defense and drank the Kool-Aid, saying that oral sex isn't sex and perjury isn't a felony if it's just about sex (notice any logic holes here?). The moral and legal relativism was truly damaging to our country.

I think if it involves genitals in any way, it's sex (and the anus gets thrown in there for good measure because of proximity - and because anyone with even a smidgen of sense knows anal sex IS SEX!!!).

 
At 4/30/2006 3:21 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Thank you both for chiming in. I'm feeling a lot less antiquated now. Which is good since I'm only twenty-six.

On the up side, my friend made the healthier choice and stayed away from guy number two. I'm going to show her this...

 
At 5/02/2006 9:41 PM, Blogger Michael Linn Jones said...

Sephanie....I could quote Joan Rivers and say that it's been so long since I've had sex I can't remember who gets tied up first.

Or, I can recall a little story from long ago that might be more appropriate for you friend. A teenage girl asks her father if he will lose respect for her if she loses her virginity. He responds,"I'm not concerned with you losing your virginity; I'm worried about you losing yourself."

If man #2 is treating your friend like #2, then she needs to stay away from him. If sex is a barometer of a relationship, she needs to sail for calmer waters.

 
At 5/02/2006 10:17 PM, Blogger Stephanie said...

Michael,

I agree that it's not so much about sex as about damage to self. I just found it rather disturbing that she could ignore the damage she was doing to herself by trying to convince herself "it wasn't sex, so it doesn't matter."

But, she chose herself over her obsession, and for that I'm very proud of her.

 

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