Ask America -- a survey

So, I've had this survey on my desk for a week or two, or something like that. I don't know how long, exactly, it's been there, because I've been swamped down with all sorts of paperwork, school work, and life.

Anyway, it's called "Ask America" and it's a special project of the Republican Party. Here are some high-lights:

The Republican Party is conducting this nationwide grass-roots project as a critical part of our efforts to continue to strengthen our Party by getting more Americans involved.

The goal is to help the Leadership of the Republican Party gain an on-going and in-depth understanding of the issues which are of greatest concern to Americans like you.

* * *

With President Bush overseeing the War on Terror and constantly under siege by Democrats and other liberal special interests here at home, it is vital that we have your answers to prove what Americans in your area really want.

* * *

With powerful special interest groups and deep pocket Washington lobbyists working behind the scenes to influence political decision making, I think it is time that we find out what you, the hard working American taxpayers, really want.

This survey, registered in your name, will serve as a mandate from you. And with major issues in Congress consistently being decided by just a few votes, I can't overstress how crucial it is that you have direct input on the national decision making.

Sounds good, doesn't it? I get direct input on the national decision making process!?! Hmm. I doubt it. But...

True to form, the President's opponents [referencing liberals] have put aside any pretense of bipartisanship and are following a game plan of continued obstructionism and "win at all costs."

Their game plan is to undermine, delay or destroy every proposal the
President sends to Capitol Hill with the goal being to effectively immobilize the Bush Administration, ensure that no major programs get through Congress and recapture control of Congress in the November elections.

...we have to stop them durned liberals, now don't we? Now, how in the world did my name get pulled out of their hat for this? They want a mandate...from me? Sore disappointment is in order.

Your answers will help give our Republican Members of Congress a special edge in legislative debates. Most importantly, they will ensure that we are in sync with the views of America's electorate all across the country.

That is why we must be prepared to protect President Bush's Congressional majorities so he can continue to deliver on more of the bold, innovative ideas that have become the hallmark of his Presidency.

*sigh* I can't imagine what they expect. But, they're obviously out of touch with reality if they honestly believe they are "in sync with the views of America's electorate all across the country." And if they think they are "in sync" with mine, then they are simply delusional.

Of course, there's this:

After analysis of this historic survey is complete, I will present President Bush and all of our Republican House incumbents and challengers with an official copy of the confidential results. And you will receive an exact duplicate of that report.

Perhaps my voice will have an impact. Perhaps the Republicans will be willing to address the concerns raised by this survey. I doubt it, but it's possible. If nothing else, assuming I do actually get a copy of it, I can always blog about it.

Then, there's the always present plea from any political party:

In addition to your valuable answers, I also hope I can count on you to
send a special contribution to support the National Republican Congressional Committee at this very important time.

This project is a huge undertaking, and we desperately need your help to fund it.

If they desperately need my help to fund this, then I'd like to visit that sea-side resort they're meeting up at out there in Arizona. But...

Your answers to the enclosed ASK AMERICA survey will tell the truth about where you and other Americans stand on the vital issues of the day. And the good news is, the truth always eventually wins out!

The truth always wins, so they better shape up or ship out! Oh, wait, that's not what they meant. Hmm.

Well, as you might have guessed, the survey was very biased towards the Republican agenda. I mean, they didn't have "The GOP is corrupt, sell-outs and I want my country back" anywhere! But here's some of what they did have:

2. Do you think American troops should pursue terrorists and their leaders even if it means going into countries where we are not invited?

(Yes, no, or no opinion; no "reasonable limits" option offered, not that
they'd have a clue what "reasonable" meant anyway)

4. How confident are you that the Department of Homeland Security will be able to keep America safe from future terrorist attacks and other catastrophic threats?

(very confident, somewhat confident, or not very confident -- terrified as hell that Katrina will be the norm wasn't an option either)

10. How confident do you feel that America's economy will continue to grow stronger in the next six months?

(they didn't offer "My husband and I are both unemployed and desperately pinching to make ends meet" as an option)

28. Do you back President Bush's efforts to build a "missile defense shield" to protect America from nuclear attack from rogue states such as North Korea and Iran?

(Can you say "star wars?" I knew you could! BTW, how can a state be rogue?)

33. President Bush has proposed a temporary guest-worker program to match willing foreign workers with willing U.S. employers when no Americans can be found to fill the jobs. Are you in favor of this proposal?

(yes, no, or no opinion, neither "HELL NO!" nor "Call it what it is, damn it!" was an option)

39. Do you think that confirmation of federal and Supreme Court judges should simply require a majority vote of 51 U.S. Senators or should 60 votes be needed to break a Senate filibuster?

(Hmm. No bias there; nope, move along, nothing to see here. *rolls eyes*)

40. In recent years, has the federal government grown more or less
intrusive in your personal and business affairs?

(This is a trick question, right?)

45. Does the national news media accurately report the news without liberal bias?

(yes, no, or no opinion, "No, nor does is accurately report the news
without conservative bias" wasn't an option)

47. Do you think the President and Congress should act aggressively to reduce the soaring oil prices to lessen the cost burden for all Americans?

(Hmm. And I thought acting aggressively was what made the
oil prices soar in the first place, silly me.)

51. Do you support the President's plan to unify our nation around a
comprehensive energy plan that protects consumers while producing more reliable, affordable and environmentally clean energy?

(He has a plan!?! Well, that's news to me. It must be those
pesky liberal reporters biasly not reporting that Bush has a plan.)

52. Generally, are you satisfied with the accomplishments of the
Republicans in Congress?

(Can you say pork? I knew you could!)

56. Which political party do you think is more in tune with American
values?

(Republican, Democrat or no opinion; "none of the above" was not an
option.)

Well, those are the high-lights. If there's call for it, I can type the whole thing in, but there just doesn't seem much point to it unless y'all really want to know.

So, my question for my lovely readers is this: Am I just a cynic? Will having taken this survey actually do some good?